Things being unearthed

There have been many odd things from my past appearing during these last days of the 40 day Ganesh mantra.

This mantra is for `removing obstacles’ … and for a long while I have had a recurring memory of standing in front of church waiting to read something to everyone and then when the priest ( or Monseigneur .. as this priest was) placed his hand on my head I flipped … basically had a melt down in front of all of my classmates … actually it may have been the entire school .. I cannot really remember… I cannot remember it that clearly… only that it was fairly traumatic. I was about 8 or 9 I think at the time.

That experience set me on a path of having a fear of public speaking … and also led on to experiencing panic attacks and other issues..

Today a few odd things came back into my awareness.

I wrote about how the Olympic torch seems to be around … more about that in another post … possibly.

However I also wrote about how people say `Yes’ to receiving first Holy Communion. The way that I wrote this was that they dress up in a bridal outfit , kneel in front of a priest and then when he says `Body of Christ?’ about what is in his hand … they say `Yes’ and then eat it.

My husband read this and said that it sounded like something from a bad porn movie … at first I thought that I might maybe change what I had written …. it did look that way… however…. I do feel that we often write things a certain way because there is a message there … like the way in which a `typo’ can often say what we really want to say.

Last night I had read a post which a friend had written on her blog entitled `The truth about cats and dogs’ … I wrote a reply to it remarking that it was funny because I had written a post along similar lines with the exact same title a few months ago.

This morning she left a comment for me about part of that post where I had written about a kitten which was taken away from me when I was about 5 years old … it was odd to recall that again.

Another odd link to all of this was that the family who had been given that kitten were also involved in another rather unhappy experience which I had with a `pet’ animal.

We were given a rooster by this same family when I was about 8 or 9 .. and had it in our backyard where it ran around and made loads of noise … generally making itself unpopular with the neighbourhood… this rooster was called Kelly.

One day he disappeared … and while asking my parents where he had gone and being told that he had `run away’ I looked down at my plate of food and realised that it was Kelly that I had been eating. The rest of my family thought that this was a great joke.

Weirdly this linked with the present day in which yesterday one of my daughter’s friend’s pet chicken died … another one of her friends remarked that she would like to get that chicken and eat it. She and this other girl have not been getting along recently.

All of this being made to eat things … combined with my husband’s earlier comments began to swim around in my mind … and I could sense that there was something hidden just below the surface.

Straight after I spoke to my husband about this on the telephone and we were saying that with this mantra we need to be prepared for all kinds of things which may be unearthed … I went downstairs to hear our daughter tell me what had gone on at school that day.

She had been chatting with a boy at school about scary movies… which movie either of them had seen which they felt was the scariest.

This boy said to her that the scariest movie that he had ever seen was one called `Priest.’